If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
