You work out of a Hotel?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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