Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
