i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
