So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
