life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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