My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
