happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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