how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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