Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
