Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
