so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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