Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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