Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
