I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Randomize
