So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
