If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Randomize
