He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
