you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
