Do you still have your period?
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
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