This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
