You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
