is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
