hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize