I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
