so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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