YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
not ubering you a puppy
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
