I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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