Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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