Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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