i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize