Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
