I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
