what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
