All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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