I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
