Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
