Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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