Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Randomize