Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
