My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Boobs speak an international language.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize