Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
