What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
She's JV to your varsity
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
