Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
