Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
