Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
