I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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