i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
