Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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