There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
