wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
