i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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