i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
