If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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