Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
