I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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