So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
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