I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
