If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
How naked do you want me to be?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
